I'll poeticly tell you.
One mistake will spin your head
And In the bed with the one you love
You just want to turn over and look the other way.
Because you're struggling with the feeling
and his mind is made up and you wonder why
your mind drifts differently, but the guilt is all your own.
One needle prick
should make it all go away
but someday, will I be guilty?
Will someday I feel terrible?
Will someday, I feel regret?
Will he someday, feel the same way?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Obama
So, I'll be flagged as a terrorist, I'm sure.
Mainly, the rest of Obama's crap I don't care about. What I'm blogging about is him banning Flavored Cigarettes. I used to smoke those things like normal cigarettes until he decided that "they appeal to the youth" and took my right to smoke them away.
We're now the Supressed States of America. Why do I say this? We're slowly having our rights to things taken away. As mine was when he banned flavored cigarettes. yes, they came back as cigars, but they're not as tastey, and not as good for you. Well, Cigarettes aren't good for you, but you get my drift.
I'm just wondering what other rights will be taken away from us in the future.
Mainly, the rest of Obama's crap I don't care about. What I'm blogging about is him banning Flavored Cigarettes. I used to smoke those things like normal cigarettes until he decided that "they appeal to the youth" and took my right to smoke them away.
We're now the Supressed States of America. Why do I say this? We're slowly having our rights to things taken away. As mine was when he banned flavored cigarettes. yes, they came back as cigars, but they're not as tastey, and not as good for you. Well, Cigarettes aren't good for you, but you get my drift.
I'm just wondering what other rights will be taken away from us in the future.
Monday, February 8, 2010
*giggle*
College has definately given me a different outlook on life. I sat and read my chapter for psych and finished my bio assignment, and then got to my dorm from Mr. Three's so that I could get online and then get some rest. So, as I'm heading to the bathroom, I hear voices I haven't heard before, but remind me of noises I know very well.
Someone was making some good lovins. I just hope she was orgasming *giggle*. Funny thing is around 10 we're supposed to be quiet, and not have visitors. Its amazing how much you can get away with. Damn, I want a cigarette after all of that. Well, I want a cigarette anyway, but I just don't have one right now. I haven't been keeping them on me to keep me from smoking them quite as much.
Ya know, Mr. Three and I knocked boots today, but we weren't loud at all. Only the whispers of my name and a slight noise of the bed hitting the wall was heard from us. I like it that way. I'm in no way an expert on lovins, but I do try to find a great way to give a guy what he likes. I've kind of given up on the "big O" without my little hand's help... or at least a major one. I had a little one with Mr. III, but that was the closest I ever got, and man, would I love one of those mindblowing ones that make you incoherent and lose some balance.
Don't get me wrong, Mr. Three is a good lover. He tries. But it's hard for me to show him what I like, and its even harder for me to know what I like.
My last boyfriends were very much into their own personal orgasm, more than mine. So, to make them feel better, I faked it. A lot. I turned over a new leaf with Mr. III, saying I won't do that to him, though I see disapointment in his eyes when I tell him I can't. I usually can tell if I will within a few seconds... or really I don't want to try after a few seconds, it feels very awkward for me.
Another thing, is he doesn't like to go down. Now, I never have a problem going down on him, but he's only tried it once, and has done away with it, or so it feels like. And, to get him to do the one time he did, I had to beg and plead, and it was only a few seconds before he popped back up. Now, I dabbled in the lesbian relm once in my life, when I was younger, like a freshman and sophomore in highschool. I actually didn't mind the taste, and liked it better than the taste of guys. But, he went into it with a pretense that he wouldn't like it. His best friend (other than Skinny, my best friend) doesn't like it, and tells everyone that he doesn't like it. Drives me nuts.
I don't know, maybe I just need to sit him down and tell him that there are certain things you have to do to get a girl riled up, other than getting her "horney", and that there's a difference between "Horney" and "excited".
Its just exceedingly difficult to do in a college dorm setting. Twin beds, not much room for two people to really get it on. We have to start getting creative or something.
Hmmm... Thoughts?
Someone was making some good lovins. I just hope she was orgasming *giggle*. Funny thing is around 10 we're supposed to be quiet, and not have visitors. Its amazing how much you can get away with. Damn, I want a cigarette after all of that. Well, I want a cigarette anyway, but I just don't have one right now. I haven't been keeping them on me to keep me from smoking them quite as much.
Ya know, Mr. Three and I knocked boots today, but we weren't loud at all. Only the whispers of my name and a slight noise of the bed hitting the wall was heard from us. I like it that way. I'm in no way an expert on lovins, but I do try to find a great way to give a guy what he likes. I've kind of given up on the "big O" without my little hand's help... or at least a major one. I had a little one with Mr. III, but that was the closest I ever got, and man, would I love one of those mindblowing ones that make you incoherent and lose some balance.
Don't get me wrong, Mr. Three is a good lover. He tries. But it's hard for me to show him what I like, and its even harder for me to know what I like.
My last boyfriends were very much into their own personal orgasm, more than mine. So, to make them feel better, I faked it. A lot. I turned over a new leaf with Mr. III, saying I won't do that to him, though I see disapointment in his eyes when I tell him I can't. I usually can tell if I will within a few seconds... or really I don't want to try after a few seconds, it feels very awkward for me.
Another thing, is he doesn't like to go down. Now, I never have a problem going down on him, but he's only tried it once, and has done away with it, or so it feels like. And, to get him to do the one time he did, I had to beg and plead, and it was only a few seconds before he popped back up. Now, I dabbled in the lesbian relm once in my life, when I was younger, like a freshman and sophomore in highschool. I actually didn't mind the taste, and liked it better than the taste of guys. But, he went into it with a pretense that he wouldn't like it. His best friend (other than Skinny, my best friend) doesn't like it, and tells everyone that he doesn't like it. Drives me nuts.
I don't know, maybe I just need to sit him down and tell him that there are certain things you have to do to get a girl riled up, other than getting her "horney", and that there's a difference between "Horney" and "excited".
Its just exceedingly difficult to do in a college dorm setting. Twin beds, not much room for two people to really get it on. We have to start getting creative or something.
Hmmm... Thoughts?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
1 year of Jimi's Passing
I'm feeling increasingly more and more depressed as the days begin to dwindle to Jimi's one year of passing. The 16th will be a very difficult day for me.
I'm in school to be a vet, and once I am, I want to find that horse that gave that lethal blow, and put him down myself. I've never hated a horse so much in my life, and I just don't want him killing another little girl's dream, and breaking another little girl's heart.
Though, I guess it's just something I'll have to get over. I won't be able to find the horse, I guarantee you that, and that kind of hate just needs to be put to bed. But I can't forgive him, not yet.
I'm reading the Tao of Equus, a great book, that I began reading the summer before I bought Jimi. I wish I re-read it while having Jimi, there are so many things I could have used to better our relationship.
And I need to get back up on a horse, and soon. If I don't, I fear this depression and rage will only be pent up and grow into a mental illness, or something of the sort. Not a good thing.
Things with Mr. III are great, and will continue going great. He's awesome.
I'm in school to be a vet, and once I am, I want to find that horse that gave that lethal blow, and put him down myself. I've never hated a horse so much in my life, and I just don't want him killing another little girl's dream, and breaking another little girl's heart.
Though, I guess it's just something I'll have to get over. I won't be able to find the horse, I guarantee you that, and that kind of hate just needs to be put to bed. But I can't forgive him, not yet.
I'm reading the Tao of Equus, a great book, that I began reading the summer before I bought Jimi. I wish I re-read it while having Jimi, there are so many things I could have used to better our relationship.
And I need to get back up on a horse, and soon. If I don't, I fear this depression and rage will only be pent up and grow into a mental illness, or something of the sort. Not a good thing.
Things with Mr. III are great, and will continue going great. He's awesome.
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